2011 Season Preview
The day little Alex realized he should do steroids.
by: Will Stanley
With the spring training winding down and the season starting tomorrow, I thought I’d get all my sexy predictions up for the forthcoming season.
Without further ado, I predict that the 2011 NL MVP will be Albert Pujols.
Here’s how the game works – when you are the best player in baseball, it is difficult to win the MVP award every year for an extended period of time (see Jordan, Michael circa 1996-97 & 1998-99) as the voters just don’t like doing it for one reason or another. Besides the utter absurdity of their voting methods (don’t even get me started) it seems that The Machine, El Hombre, aka Mr. Albert Pujols is due for another MVP award in his trophy case. Don’t even make me mention that it is technically a contract year and who knows if he has Beltre-itis. The other hot name around the web is Troy Tulowitzki but I don’t see it unless they stomp their division, even if everyone has a massive Tebowner for the man.
AL MVP - Adrian Gonzalez is poised to absolutely destroy the ball in Fenway. This guy is the real deal, and after playing at spacious Petco Park in Whale’s Vagina, Fenway Park is going to seem like a Little League field. I repeat. Adrian Gonzalez is going to kill it this year.
Rookie of the Year
NL - I absolutely love Brandon Belt, and if Brian Sabean were just a tad dumber, I’d love to swindle him in a trade for the man. Though Belt will likely start the year in AAA (maybe not), his call-up is inevitable as Pat Burrell will surely revert back into Pat Burrell’s Corpse and they will be forced to bring Belt up to remove the putrid stench from the locker room.
AL – I think we aren’t going to see any starting pitchers overwhelm the superb stats that’ll be put up by Chris Sale, coming out of the bullpen for the White Sox and possibly closing games out.
Cy Young
NL – There’s about 38 candidates from the NL East alone, but I think the hype train that’s been following Josh Johnson around since mid-summer last season will finally arrive at the station.
AL - Jon Lester seems to be the sexy pick around t3h internets, but I’m sticking with the home cooking and going King Felix. I honestly think he will just have another great year, winning his second Cy Young and cementing his status as the top pitcher in the AL now that Halladay, Lee, and Greinke are all in the NL. Watch out for that Larry Bernandez guy though.
Least Valuable Player
NL - Hmm, I guess this depends on if Jose Lopez get’s traded to an AL team before the season starts. I believe Yuniesky Betancourt won’t get enough playing time with the Brewcrew to qualify. I dunno, I guess I’ll go dark horse on this one and say Carlos Lee absolutely falls apart at the plate in addition to his always horrific defense. The former Mariners almost beat him out though, and if Yuni plays on a regular basis then all bets are off.
AL - Jeff Mathis is the easy choice. Probably the correct one too. Mike Sciosia has a raging clue for Mathis, playing him all year despite his negative value. Literally worthless. He might have less value than a Wazzu drug prevention program.
Playoff teams
NL – Colorado Rockies, Milwaukee Brewers, Atlanta Braves, Philadelphia Phillies
I think Colorado will be really good this year, and Milwaukee will ride their new pitching to an NL Central crown. The loser of the NL East wins the wildcard, but I think both the Phillies and Atlanta make the postseason.
AL – Seattle Mariners, Texas Rangers, Detroit Tigers, Boston Red Sox, Tampa Bay Rays
Obviously the toughest pick is who will win the wild card out of the AL East and who will be left home watching the TV when playoffs commence. The AL Central is another tough pick with the White Sox and Twins looking like formidable opponents. I’m going with Detroit having a lucky year and riding Verlander and Scherzer to a division title.
World Series – Boston Red Sox vs. Atlanta Braves
The 2011 MLB Champions will be the Boston Red Sox. I think Epstein bought himself another World Series ring with the Crawford signing and the timely trade for Adrian Gonzalez. Atlanta’s offense just can’t match up with their pitching and they fall just short.
First fight of the year – I’m really hoping it’s during the first Yankees-Red Sox series of the year, but I’m putting my money on the first time the Phillies play the Braves the 8th-10th of April. I’m hoping they realize that they are each others’ biggest competition and start the season off heated.
Boldest prediction – Ichiro! will hit over .300 and steal over 30 bases. Again. For like the 27th time.
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